As I look back on 30 years of military service in addition to other leadership positions I have held, I have seen or made about every mistake by a leader one can imagine. Not sure who first came up with the phrase “words matter” but when you are talking about clichés or idioms often uttered by those in charge or their representatives, some of them have lost their meaning over the years or never were accurate in the first place.
Top 5 Worst Cliches Leaders Use
Every one of the below examples are phrases most of us have uttered with severe disregard as to what they really mean or how they can be interpreted.
1. I treat everyone the same.
No, you do not nor should you. If you actually mean that, then the person who shows up late, has a terrible attitude, or lacks a work ethic, gets the same reviews, raises, and promotions than their hardworking, punctual, and congenial peers. What you probably mean is that “I give everyone equal opportunities to succeed”.
2. I have no ego.
While this sounds noble, grounded in modesty and a match made for open door policies (more on that later), ego simply means self-esteem. An over worthy view of yourself is not good for a variety of reasons, but I would, as a follower, want my leaders to have some ego or they would not be fit to serve as anyone’s boss.
3. We need to have a meeting and remind people what unacceptable behavior is.
Never mind the fact that it was one or two people who violated a policy or rule or guideline, let’s bring the other 100 in and warn them as well! Nothing like stirring the pot a little and making good workers look over their shoulder.
4. They cannot be a good leader because they don’t like confrontation.
What does that even mean? Who does like confrontation outside of some third world dictators, MMA fighters, and a few lawyers that I know? Avoiding confrontation until necessary is one thing but even then, it does not mean you have to like it. Sometimes last result confrontation, as opposed to regular, honest feedback, in the form of warnings or discipline is the only way to establish boundaries or enforce standards, but no one should truly enjoy it.
5. I have an open door policy.
So anyone that walks around or subverts your staff and sees your door open, is just allowed to pop in and discuss any topic, regardless of whether they followed the correct protocol or not? Alternatively, does that mean your door is never closed no matter how sensitive the conversation may be? I guess if the title on your door says Inspector General or Internal Affairs, you may be literal but be careful of this little offer of accessibility or people will take advantage of it, or worse yet, hold it against you when your actions do not exactly meet your words.
Words Matter
The above bother me almost as much as someone bastardizing the term “free speech”, which amongst lawyers who are fans of the constitution, is about as bad as yelling fire in a movie theater (see what I did there?). They bother me because looking back, I have offered up most of these misnomers, early in my career, with utter disregard for the effect it had people, and don’t want the same thing to happen to you, if possible.
