Popular advice coming from military transition experts emphasizes the need for service members to become amenable in the civilian sector. Their recommendation is to embrace being highly adaptable while transitioning into the civilian culture which often requires embodying a new way of working. While “adapt and overcome” seems to be a large part of the military culture, it’s good to question to what end.
In the military, there was a clearly defined mission that directly supported matters of national security. In the general workforce, the mission may not be as adverse to life-or-death decision-making; therefore, cultural norms have more room to grow. When a veteran enters the civilian workforce, they are often met with one of two impressions. One view looks up to the veteran as a leader, decision-maker, and team player. The other view looks at the veteran in a way that can make them feel uncomfortable, threatened, and less secure in their abilities.
Veterans tend to have a “strong personality”
I was working on a contract supporting a government client when a co-worker stated that she felt I had a “strong personality.” Now keep in mind this was a civilian co-worker who had a very different temperament and communication style than I did. She preferred to handle issues with co-workers behind the scenes. I would speak directly to co-workers and embrace the issue head-on. Looking back at the interview with this employer, I recalled the red flags which I consciously noted during the process but convinced myself, I would be the “change agent” and these concerns would get addressed.
A few weeks into the contract, I noticed that what was said during the interview about their culture and what was happening in the job did not line up. The employer stated during the interview that he wanted someone with a strong voice who was willing to share their thoughts. In turn, my “strong voice” ultimately led to being let go and without warning. While the reasoning for my dismissal was never shared, intuitively, I knew what had happened. The employer stated that they wanted one type of personality when in theory, they wanted something else. I found myself growing frustrated in my role as I realized that the culture was not what it seemed to be. In hindsight, those initial interview red flags were correct. I had chosen to accept the opportunity even though I knew there was something amiss within their culture.
Don’t Sacrifice your Self-worth
Every veteran employee has different desires and outcomes for their post-service employment. Regardless of how they prioritize what is important, sacrificing your sense of self-worth for others to feel better in your presence, should never be up for discussion. This is where I feel the messaging from the military transition space, can get it wrong. When there is a life or death mission at stake, then yes, conforming to the rules and regulations may be required. However, in modern-day America is conformity sound advice?
From my experience, trying to “fit in” to a culture that doesn’t feel correct for me, never works out very well in the end. I find myself suffering in silence as I contemplate having a steady paycheck versus valuing my voice and authenticity. I believe that transitioning service members may find themselves standing at the crossroads of having to choose between a paycheck or self-fulfillment early on in their career transition.
