“Grit is like living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.” – Angela Duckworth
I remember it all started as a daily punchline, then eventually grew into nothing less than one of a handful of sarcastic daily greetings. After another long night trying to sleep under the Big Voice speaker mounted above my CHU (containerized housing unit), I’d make my way through the collection of converted shipping containers to meet up with the other members of my advisory team for breakfast at the KBR dining facility. “How’s everybody doing this morning?”
“Embrace the suck, man.”
As part of the small contingent that remained after the withdrawal of forces from Iraq in 2011, we were deployed under the banner of the Office of Security Cooperation-Iraq, which was leading the “advise and assist” mission for the United States after eight years of war. It was a mission envisioned for a stay-behind force of 10,000; when the dust settled, there were roughly 150 of us. With the same strategic objectives designed for the larger force. As a result, “embrace the suck” became a very common refrain.
THE ROAD TO NOWHERE
We had more than our share of long days, spent either on the road in strategic engagements with senior Iraqi government and military officials or deep in the bowels of the Ba’ath Party headquarters building, where our offices were nestled not far from the rubble of an F-15 strike during the invasion in 2003. There were never enough of us to go around, but we worked hard to build meaningful relationships with our Iraqi counterparts, relationships that in many cases continue to this day.
We were a captive group. Deployed far from home, surrounded by concrete and barbed wire, and operating under the constraints of General Order No. 1. When we traveled, we did so in convoys of armored Suburbans, escorted by hardened fighters that made the Wagner Group look like the guards from Stalag 13. And there were always the telltale signs of a nascent group that hung strange black flags from the windows on nearby apartment buildings. In the years that followed, we would come to know them well.
But there were good days, too. On Friday nights, we would gather behind the headquarters building and enjoy Cuban cigars and O’Doul’s, commiserating and reflecting on the week. Late Sunday morning we would meet for what passed for pizza, then visit the Blue Dome – the mausoleum of Abdul-Qadir Gilani – to peruse the dollar DVDs and haggle over the price of replica Rolexes, Breitlings, and Omegas. We’d finish our weekend with lobster and fresh cake at the Embassy dining facility, a meal worthy of a two-mile walk in 120-degree heat.
Despite what people might say about having choices when the job isn’t fun, we didn’t. We weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. So, it was up to us to find inventive ways to embrace the suck, to dig deep, and find the motivation to power through.
UNLEASH THE BEAST
Anyone who’s endured a long deployment (or two or three or more) can tell you that it takes grit to get through the endless days and nights. “Grit,” Travis Bradberry reminds us, “is that ‘extra something’… it’s the passion, perseverance, and stamina that we must channel” to endure life’s challenges. It provides that mental toughness that navigates us past burnout and drives us toward success in the face of adversity.
Because we don’t all have choices. In my case, I was deployed; I couldn’t exactly catch the next flight out of Baghdad International. Sometimes, you’re tethered to the job. Sometimes, you can’t afford to pick up and go. And sometimes, the alternatives just aren’t there. When you simply don’t have the option of picking up and starting over somewhere else, you need to draw on that inner strength, to unleash the grit within you.
Angela Duckworth’s 2016 book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, is a roadmap to finding your inner grit. The formula for unleashing your grit isn’t particularly complicated, and it serves as a mental checklist to get you through those especially long days (and weeks, and months).
- Perseverance is, literally, powering through the obstacles to achieve something. It’s not giving up when someone or something presents a roadblock. It’s putting your nose to the grindstone and fighting the good fight.
- Resilience allows you to bounce back when those obstacles and challenges get the better of you. It’s picking yourself back up after taking a punch to the face and squaring up to continue the fight. True grit is rooted deeply in resilience. It’s the never quit attitude that separates success from failure.
- Courage gives you the strength to overcome the natural fears that often hold us back – fear of failure, fear of the unknown, and fear of public ridicule. It allows you to face down your fears and doubts, get comfortable being uncomfortable, and embrace risk and ambiguity. It underpins the growth mindset upon which grit is built.
- Passion almost speaks for itself. It’s what motivates and drives you toward your end goal. It draws from your values to fuel you; it gives you the impetus to continue the fight when you start to tire or lose focus. It’s what really matters to you most.
- Conscientiousness traditionally relates to putting in the hard effort, playing by the rules, and doing what’s right. But it’s more than that. It’s following through on commitments, being dependable, and taking on the hard tasks that make you an invaluable member of a team.
Put it all together, and you can get through almost anything. Along the way, you might find that your current circumstances aren’t as bad as you thought, or maybe a lot less bad than they could be. Grit gives you perspective that might otherwise prove elusive. It helps you to find the silver lining that you might have missed along the way. And, when you can no longer embrace the suck, it reminds you that when one door closes, another opens. And lets you take it.
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