I recently went on my first backpacking trip. Our group ended up coming home early due to unforeseen weather conditions. Snow in Southern California in late April? Upon reflection I realized there were so many similarities between the unexpected challenges our team experienced and those who are leaving the military. Even when you prepare for transition you never know what challenges transition may throw at you. It can be hard to adjust course and figure out what is next.
Things will be unexpected
We knew it was going to rain in the days leading up to the trip, but the forecast kept changing—even up until right before we left. On the drive up the forecast changed with lower temperatures and a longer, more intense storm than expected. It changed everything, and we found ourselves unprepared for the unexpected change.
Transition can feel similar. You know there is something coming and you work to navigate and prepare for the upcoming life change. Then you leave the military and it isn’t what you expected. Things change, and it throws you off. Or it can be the emotions you never expected after you leave service. Unexpectedly, you now must find a way to cope. It can also be connected to your new career. Maybe your new career path is not quite what you expected, and you don’t find the same sense of purpose you found with service. Add in a busy life with unexpected challenges with family members, and it is easy to see why each transition experience is so different. All these events, big or small, can wreak havoc on the transition out of the military.
Changing your path
Eventually the choice was made to turn around and not spend the night. There were discussions back and forth, the weather and downed trees on the trail were two primary factors. In the end the choice was made. We turned around and charted a new path back to the cars.
Even well-laid plans may need to pivot during a military transition. Having to change your plan can sometimes lead service members to feel that they failed in preparing for transition. But the truth is no one can know what the future will hold or what challenges they may face when they leave the military behind. Having a plan and then changing course is not failing, it is adapting and moving forward. It’s about figuring out the best plan for yourself in the present, not clinging to a path created by a past version of you who couldn’t predict how you’d feel today. You have to use the information you have and figure out the next right step for you, even if it doesn’t look like what you planned.
Reflect on choices made
When we made the choice to turn around, personally, I didn’t think it was the right one. I was so focused on getting to the camp site and completing the hike I did not look at the whole situation and realize the safety concern that would have arisen had we continued to move forward and spend the night.
There is a time to push through the discomfort and there is a time to realize when you need to find a new path. For me, in my own transition I struggled with feeling I had done something wrong when I left the military. I was the reason I was struggling. In truth, the military hadn’t prepared me for the emotional impact of losing my sense of purpose and identity. I also had mental health challenges pop up I had kept at bay for years. Lastly, I struggled to connect after losing the community I had for years. It took me a long time to find help. It was only when I began connecting with other veterans and hearing how difficult their transitions had been that I started to find peace and move forward.
Military transition often can be difficult. If you find yourself struggling in transition, remember that leaving the military is a big change. It can come with unexpected challenges. But one of the best resources I have found is connecting with other veterans. If you don’t know any veterans you can connect to other veterans through Veterans Service Organizations, the Department of Veteran Affairs or online social media groups. Finding a community outside of military service that can support you through this change can make it a little bit easier.
And as for me with backpacking. I won’t forget the lessons learned from my first attempt. I’ll be back out on the trail again soon. I won’t forget how important it is to focus on the whole journey and not just completing the planned trail. We may have to adjust, but we will be back out there again.
