Do you struggle to communicate with your coworkers? Do ‘feelings’ make you feel uncomfortable? Welcome to the workforce majority. Even if you love your coworkers, it’s difficult to know where to draw the line. And with more millennials making it to management and pushing the boundaries of popular convention, I’ll argue it has gotten even more difficult to navigate those workplace social waters.
If you work for the government, you have a bit more help navigating office relationships than most – there are laws governing everything from what you can talk about at work to who you can give gifts to. For the rest of us (or those too busy to read policy), here are five tips for saying thank-you at work – that hopefully won’t end in anyone feeling awkward.
1. Write a thank-you email.
This might seem like the low-hanging fruit of office thank-yous, but email has definite advantages. Saying ‘thank-you’ in person can be a bit awkward for the social averse. And for remote workers, it may be impossible. I always love a little email kudos for two reasons – it gives me a nice moment to rest on my laurels without having to respond on the spot…and I can file it away in a special folder to pull up during my next annual review (hey, a girl’s gotta work for that bonus!)
So, don’t think you’re lazy when you say thank-you via email. Just make sure it goes beyond the standard, ‘thanks for your help’ and really outlines how they went above-and-beyond.
2. Thank their boss.
I work at Starbucks. I mean, I don’t work for Starbucks but I work at a Starbucks several days a week. And despite the fact that I spend a significant portion of my disposable income on Peppermint Mochas, half of the baristas still act like they have no idea who I am. Except for one. This lady is amazing – she asks about my kids, she asks how I am – she even recognizes me when I’m going through the drive-through at 6:30 AM looking like a character from The Walking Dead. So, one day when I saw her boss, I made sure to stop by and tell her how amazing this lady is.
Often supervisors don’t get a full picture of how their staff interacts throughout the organization. If you can reveal some of that greatness directly to their supervisor, that’s a great way to make a ‘thank-you’ count.
3. Feed them.
We have one specific coworker at our office who is always bringing treats into work. Sometimes upon request, sometimes out of the goodness of her heart. And you can bet her coworkers feel the love every time she bakes something for them. The best thing about food (whether it’s something you bake yourself or sharing the love of Costco), is that it literally gives you the chance to ‘break bread’ together. And even if it’s just a cookie, there’s something about sharing treats to bring coworkers together.
The next time you need to say ‘thanks’ for a job well done, food may be one of the best ways to do it.
4. Meme them.
Okay, this is for the millennials. Or really anyone that struggles with the written word. Modern communication has introduced a whole new host of ways you can communicate without words. From memes to emojis, if you have trouble coming up with the right thing to say, maybe you can find an image to do it for you.
It might seem strange, or silly, but really, isn’t this what Hallmark has been doing for generations? And while it might seem strange to tell your boss or a coworker, ‘here, I walked over to the CVS to purchase this deep sign of my appreciation via the magical words of Hallmark,’ if your meme goes down like a turkey on Thanksgiving – at least you can say it was a joke.
5. Give them a gift.
Gifts are my love language. I love to buy presents. It’s fortunate for my bank account that I rarely have time to shop (I mean, there’s online shopping, but there are only 8 hours in the work-day, am I right?!) I place gifts last, because they can be a meaningful way to say thanks, but also one of the most awkward (or illegal).
Case in point, when I worked for the Army I bought gifts for everyone on my team one year and the service member who was my team lead ended up paying me back later. Awkward! I assumed since he wasn’t in my direct chain of command, any unofficial rules about gifting wouldn’t apply (he didn’t have to rate me, after all). But as an indirect supervisor and someone clearly my superior, he felt very uncomfortable about receiving something from me (also, the lingerie wasn’t his size, it turned out). We weren’t feeling the same about my love language for gifting (two other team members took their gifts without problem!)
At the time, I was young, and my heart outweighed my head more often than not. What I hoped was a way to say ‘thanks’ for making our office a great place to work turned into something else. So, tread carefully with gifts. Since then, I’ve moved into different roles and figured out when gifts are appropriate and when they’re not, I hope. But given the fact that money is what makes your office go around, after all, there are certainly times when gifts can be appropriate. Don’t check it off your list, but like every opportunity to extend gratitude in the office, think carefully about what’s appropriate.
Are you grateful for your job? Appreciative of your workplace? Not everyone loves the place they work. If you’re happy where you’re spending your 9-5 this holiday season, be sure to find a few ways to say thank-you.
