Santa’s North Pole operation has changed a lot over the last few generations. It is now a modern production facility with all the latest computer-assisted devices. That modernization has brought cutting-edge cybersecurity and innovative intelligence gathering and analysis.
Intelligence gathering and analysis? It is all about the “Naughty or Nice” list. Santa employs a number of skilled data analysts as well as photo and video interpreters. They pour over social media as well as the news. Selective use of the technical assets of various nations is made to allow observation of those who are not on the Internet. Rather than allowing girls and boys to ‘self-report‘ their behavior on Santa’s lap, Santa now relies on continuous evaluation – it has drastically reduced the size of the nice list and allowed Santa’s global operations to remain under budget.
Santa’s SCIF Operation
All of the work on the “Naughty or Nice” list is done in a SCIF. None of the computers are connected to any outside device to prevent any type of hacking of the list. The project manager is called, among the employees, the “Elf on the shelf.”
Toy production is computerized, as well. The entire shop floor is filled with robots, putting together the toys that Santa will deliver. Elves need a mechanical engineering degree these days to work in Santa’s Workshop.
All of the networks and computerized controllers are heavily protected by Santa’s Security Department. The network admin pushes program and OS updates daily, and Santa uses a proprietary security software suite developed just for him by a small firm in Tel Aviv. Login passwords are changed weekly and evaluated for their strength before being accepted by the system.
Even Santa’s sleigh has been modernized. Model E was just placed into service. The sleigh is no longer wood, but a light weight composite with strong ballistic resistance properties. The red paint is now a radar absorbing coating which gives the sleigh the radar profile of a hummingbird.
The runners of the sleigh each have a hard mount for a HARM or an EW pod. Rudolf had his “nose so bright” replaced by an infrared emmiter in the Model C upgrade. The airspeed of the sleigh is secret but it is well known that the reindeer the propel the sleigh are the fastest animals known.
Whether Santa is delivering in Des Moines or in Aleppo, children can rest assured that he will arrive safely and that their dreams of sugar plums can come true. Nothing will stop jolly old Saint Nick from making his rounds on Christmas Eve – and you can bet ‘Elf on the shelf’ is working hard to make sure the project comes in on time and under budget.
Ho, ho, ho, and happy holidays from the entire team at ClearanceJobs.com!