For families experiencing a military separation due to a deployment, it can be difficult to manage the overwhelm or generally stay sane. Let’s add in the holidays to this cocktail: it can be another reminder that a your spouse is not home to share in the festivities, causing more stress. And lastly, let’s sprinkle some COVID-19 on top.
Deployments are difficult any time of year, but especially now, can be the toughest. All the usual plans, support systems and resources look different now.
Take a deep breath. While your loved one is serving this country, you too are serving in such a big way. ClearanceJobs wants to celebrate our mil-spouses for Military Families Month, by sharing some ways to manage the craziness that can come with a deployed spouse.
TIPS TO MANAGE DEPLOYMENTS DURING COVID-19 AND HOLIDAYS
Take a deep breath. While your loved one is serving this country, you too are serving in such a big way. ClearanceJobs wants to celebrate our mil-spouses for Military Families Month, by sharing some ways to manage the craziness that can come with a deployed spouse.
1. Connect with the community and bloggers.
Joining a community of mil-spouses gives you a comfortable space where you can ask questions from others who have done deployments a time or two and make life-long friends. Military One Source offers tons of resources and support to mil-spouses including the Military Spouse Employment Partnership where you can find employers that offer remote job opportunities. Other bloggers in the military community online can offer some guidance (and humor) on daily life or issues that may arise on a deployment. My favorites are Army Wife 101, The Seasoned Spouse, and The Military Husband.
2. Make a craft or start a new(ish) hobby.
Taking on a new hobby keeps your brain exercised in a different way and can serve as some very much needed self-care. This is the biggest thing to preventing insanity between being a single parent, working, and anything else that your managing while your spouse is away. If you’re already anxious about even finding the time to choose a new hobby, fear not. You probably don’t need to worry – the one you left in the dust when you sold your soul to the work week at home is waiting for you. If you don’t think you have the 30 minutes a day for something fun, you may need to re-work your daily routine. So, sign up for that virtual class you’ve been thinking about, get the kayaks out of the shed, or buy some new paint brushes.
3. Relax with a beverage and treat yourself.
You work hard. In spite of everything that 2020 has thrown out you. So, avoid the guilty feelings of relaxing with a glass of wine alone on your back porch while the kids are watching a movie. Your spouse will feel better when they hear a relaxed and happy family the next time you chat and will be able to perform better in whatever mission they are supporting.
4. Speaking of screen time, occupy the children.
Consider doing something fun for your servicemember like putting together a care package (or packages for their unit) containing their favorite snacks, pictures, or necessities to get through the rest of their required time. Take the kids places outside on hikes, watch your favorite shows, or break out that newest board game that can get explosive and create laughter.
5. Give back.
Did you know that there are websites dedicated to remote volunteering opportunities that have thousands of listings? While you may not have time if you are homeschooling children, the military spouses with fur babies may have extra time on their hands. Busy yourself by getting involved in volunteer opportunities that could be emotionally or spiritually rewarding and add some feel-good emotions to your weekly routine.
6. Invest in you and your career growth.
The DoD Transition Assistance Program (TAP) offers resources not only to service members, but to mil-spouses as well! Policy requires a virtual curriculum, which officials rolled out in early 2020, which is available through Joint Knowledge Online (JKO). It can be accessed at any time to support long-term career planning.
7. Get active or start a virtual exercise program.
There’s nothing like a runner’s high, and a healthier body means a healthier mind. Endorphins flowing through your system is the best medicine, and while on base exercising my be crowded, YouTube can be your virtual trainer during COVID-19. There are also tons of free full length work out programs provided by various apps – some even allowing a way for participants to network and hold each other accountable (if that’s what your going for).
8. Phone a friend and ask for help or have a virtual hangout.
It may be difficult to ask for help, but most of the time, friends and families want to try to be there for a military spouse that is going through a time of being alone. Sometimes you just need to be with friends who understand what you are going through. In any case, rely on these helping hands to vent. If you have feelings of anxiety, there’s no shame in asking for professional help. Taking care of your mental health is self-care, so don’t hesitate to do so.
9. Get your much-needed sleep.
Sleep keeps us healthy and lets your body repair, restore, and reenergize…which is very necessary during a deployment and during the holidays. If you don’t get enough sleep, you might experience poor focus, weakened immunity, or mood changes. A good sleep is essential for service members and their families to be happy, and most companies geared toward a good night’s sleep and products with all the bells and whistles offer military discounts. So get that 6 to 9 hours of sleep each night!
10. Reinvent the good times.
Finally, celebrate all of the good times or holidays that your spouse missed when they return home. Birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Diwali, Hanukkah, Celebrate them back to back – if you have kids, I’m sure they won’t mind either.
You Will Make It
Dig deep down inside of yourself and remember that you and yours will make it through this tough time with the help of community and resources around you…even if it’s virtually.
