Often when people find out I served in the military, they ask me what I miss about serving in military. And while there are things that I do miss about the military, there are certain things that I’m not sad about leaving behind. Time in uniform is truly service to the United States, but not all of it is easily recognized by the average citizen.

What’s Not to Miss After Separating from the MIlitary? 5 Things

And since I am a military spouse and still tied to the military, I don’t have a totally clear view yet of what leaving the military is like. So, I asked other veterans to share what they do not miss about military service and have included those thoughts in addition to my own.

1. Constant Moving

One thing many military members don’t miss when they leave are the regular moves – even if they go well. Time between moves can range from a few months to a few years for each new military assignment. Not only are moves common, but also, a military member often has little control over where they will end up next. There is of course the opportunity to provide feedback on where you would like to move. But in the end, the military decides where your next assignment is. And like it or not, that is where you will go.

2. Lack of Roots

Besides having to move and start over, when you are in the military, many of your friends are often in the military too. It can seem to be an endless cycle of welcoming new people and saying goodbye to friends. Leaving the military behind can give you the opportunity to build roots and get connected in a community in ways that often can’t happen in a short two-to-four-year tour. And while having friends all over the world is cool, building a strong community that for the most part won’t leave also has its advantages.

3. Lack of Flexibility

And then there is the lack of flexibility in the military. The military does not offer a lot of flexibility. With a mission-focused mindset and outside factors, you have no control over setting a lot of the mission’s focus. You also do not have a lot of control over your life. Instead, you have to do what is asked. And then try and make your life fit into it. It can be hard to find work-life balance and even harder when you are stationed far away from family for either an assignment, deployment, or both.

4. Permission Slips for Life

You also have to get permission to do anything. Even when you have a three- or four-day weekend, there are restrictions and limits in place. Many bases have a radius of where you can travel without taking leave even if you don’t have to be at work. This can limit where you can go when you have time off. And then when you want to go on vacation. It has to be approved and not just approved that you need to get the time off but depending on where you want to travel there may be restrictions preventing you from going where you want to go or additional requirements that you have to complete before going to that particular location.

5. Cookie Cutter Fitness

Another advantage people discussed when leaving the military was focused on fitness, height, and weight standards – and that’s even before the Army Combat Fitness Test (ACFT) became a thing. While you are in the military you must meet certain standards for physical fitness, height and weight. So, when you leave, for better or worse, you get to choose your level of fitness. But you also get to decide what you’re interested in or what’s important to you. You can be a couch potato or run Spartan Races all the time – you decide.

Living the Post Military Life

Apparently when you start thinking about how your life is different from when you were in the military, the examples of what you do not miss can continue far and wide. I guess it makes the sacrifice that those serve even more important. Serving means giving up a part of who you are and the ability to make choices in your life. So, while many of us wouldn’t change our time in the military, it doesn’t mean that we don’t appreciate some of the changes after separation.

What would you say you do not miss about the military?

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Amanda is a military spouse and veteran who served in the Air Force for six years as a Civil Engineer including a deployment to Afghanistan. She traded in her combat boots for a diaper bag to stay home with her two boys and follow her husband’s military career. She published her first book in 2019 titled Women of the Military, sharing the stories of 28 military women. In 2019 she also launched her podcast also titled Women of the Military. In 2020, she was published as a collaborative author in Brave Women Strong Faith. And in 2021, she launched a YouTube channel to help young women answer their questions about military life, Girl’s Guide to the Military. You can learn more about Amanda at her blog Airman to Mom.