Last week, the Los Alamos National Laboratory, one of the most secure facilities on the planet, had to issue a warning to a public transfixed with the story of Robert Oppenheimer. They wrote on X: “’Oppenheimer’ brought the spotlight & the tourists to #LosAlamos. LANL is a working nat’l security lab & is NOT open to the public (badges are for authorized employees only; taking photos is not allowed).”
My first response was to laugh at the silly tourists thinking they could just go take the tour of the place where the United States manufactures the cores of its nuclear weapons. But then, it occurred to me that like most ClearanceJobs readers, I live in a bubble. I write about security clearances, classified facilities, and secret government programs for a living. The classification system of the United States is abstruse even to cleared professionals. Secrets are weird! So why should I expect some dentist from Dayton, OH, or schoolteacher from Gulfport, MS to understand, really, what a Department of Energy “Q Clearance” is?
NO, DO NOT TRY GOING TO THESE PLACES
To help out those eager travelers ready to see the most exciting government facilities in America, here is a list of five places you absolutely cannot visit or take a picture
1. LOS ALAMOS NATIONAL LABORATORY
Just to reiterate, you can’t go here, even though they made a really cool movie about it. The Manhattan Project is finished, and Robert Oppenheimer is dead, but work at Los Alamos National Laboratory lives on. And it’s guarded by men with guns.
2. CIA HEADQUARTERS
Famously, CIA Headquarters in Langley, VA, hosts a museum for employees to visit as a way of being inspired. The museum sounds fascinating, but you are not welcome there. Likewise, do not show up at CIA headquarters hoping for a tour. There are none to be had. On rare occasion, the agency offers by-invitation group events, where you can enjoy its lobby and cafeteria, but if that’s what you are looking for, I suggest the superior Culinary Institute of America tour (“the other CIA”), which has far better catering.
3. DUGWAY PROVING GROUND
I don’t know why you would want to go here, but it doesn’t matter, because you can’t. Located in the middle of the western Utah desert, Dugway Proving Ground is the U.S. Army facility where America tests its chemical and biological weapons defenses. (We do not make such weapons anymore, allegedly, and have not since 1969. I mean, just imagine how awful it would be if a biological weapon escaped a lab and got out into the wild.)
4. CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN COMPLEX
During the good old days of the Cold War, when the danger of total thermonuclear warfare was at its peak, the United States realized that if the Soviets wiped out our early warning systems, they could, immediately afterward, wipe out everything else. So the Air Force got to work relocating our combat operations center at Ent Air Force Base to somewhere safer. Somewhere like the inside of a hollowed-out mountain. (This was back when America dreamed big.)
Cheyenne Mountain Complex was the original home of the North American Air Defense Command, or NORAD. (Though we dreamed big, we were not very good at acronyms.)
In 2008, NORAD moved from Cheyenne Mountain to Peterson Air Force Base, because the only thing cooler than a secret mountain fortress is a cluster of tan, square buildings with a BX for military retirees. Today, Cheyenne Mountain is home to the alternate command center for NORAD, and no, you can’t go inside.
5. AREA 51
In 2019, a dreamer named Matty Roberts came up with the idea of masses of people gathering on the same day and storming Area 51. (Mottoes: “They can’t kill all of us!” and “Let’s see them aliens!”) On Facebook, two million people marked themselves as “going” to the event, and the security forces squadron at Area 51 probably had the most exciting meeting of their lives.
Look, Roberts was right. They really couldn’t have killed two million people, and we would finally have seen those alien bodies that David Grusch has been talking about. (Grusch hasn’t seen them either, which would help his claims.) Unfortunately, 1,999,850 of the people who said they were “going” decided to stay home. And look, the Air Force can definitely kill 150 people. So the storming never occurred.
The moral is that unless you are bringing a million of your best friends, you cannot visit Area 51.
BUT THESE PLACES ARE OPEN FOR BUSINESS!
On the flip side, here are five places, surprisingly, that you can check out.
1. FBI HEADQUARTERS
Not only can you tour FBI Headquarters, but it is a self-guided tour! I mean, I wouldn’t try to pick any locks or disguise myself as a janitor to get access to the secured areas, but I wouldn’t not try, either. You only live once.
2. RAVEN ROCK
Right around the time the American government realized the Soviets could take out our air defense network, and thus, take out America, the American government also realized that they would be killed too. Nothing motivates an American politician like self-interest, so rather than find a way to stop the missiles and save everyone, they found a way to build big bunkers for themselves. They built one, called Site R, beneath Raven Rock Mountain in Pennsylvania (which isn’t actually accessible to visitors, unless parody websites are to be believed – but you can still drive there on Waze!)…
3. THE GREENBRIER
…and built another beneath the Greenbrier Hotel in West Virginia. This is where Congress would go. Today, for $47 per person, you can tour what was once one of the most protected facilities in the world (designed for the worst people).
4. MOST MILITARY FACILITIES AND NASA CENTERS
If you have a friend or family member with a military ID, you can get into most military installations in the United States. Some require you to register at the visitor’s center, and some restrict access to certain buildings, but these days it sometimes seems like there are more civilians on military installations than servicemembers. What about Redstone Arsenal in Huntsville, AL, where they build and test missiles? Yes. Fort Meade, MD, where the National Security Agency spies on the whole world? Knock yourself out. The same goes for just about every NASA center (though many require registration in advance).
5. THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION
If you can get there, you can get in there. Tourists have been allowed on the International Space Station since 2001, when financial analyst Dennis Tito paid the Russians $20 million to fly him there. Today, you can hire a company called Space Adventures to take you there. (Note to Space Adventures press team: I am available if you want to comp a ride! The coverage will be sensational.)
