“To build a strong team, you must see someone else’s strength as a complement to your weakness and not a threat to your position of authority.” – Christine Caine
As we gathered around the conference table for the staff meeting, there was one noticeable person absent: the chief of staff. It wasn’t unusual for him to be late to his own meeting; he kept a busy schedule, and sometimes other events ran long. I debated starting the meeting without him but knew he would rather we waited for him.
Eventually, he made his arrival, took a seat next to me, and started the meeting. As each member of the staff presented an update, he seemed distracted, even annoyed. He kept glancing at the strategic communication chief, who was staring blankly at the chief of staff while waiting for his turn to speak.
“What the [drop f-bomb here] are you staring at?” the chief of staff growled at him. “Do I have a [insert name of male appendage here] growing out of my forehead?”
The conference froze in time. No one said a word. The strategic communication chief was caught completely off guard and could only stammer a response.
“Everybody out!” the chief of staff yelled. “Except you…” he said, staring down the stunned staff member and pointing a finger at him.
There will be Signs
I waited for the chief of staff after his explosive moment in the conference room. “You can’t do that,” I told him. “You can’t tear someone down in front of the entire staff. That will come back to haunt you later. You need to apologize and set things right.”
He would eventually offer his regrets, but to the other staff rather than the offended party. Something that amounted to, “I’m sorry you had to see me discipline a lesser human being.”
A potentially bad boss doesn’t always telegraph their behavioral challenges. They’re often subtle, to the point where we choose to ignore them despite the screams from deep within our limbic systems, waring us that it’s “fight or flight” time. Our evolved sense of intuition doesn’t inherently connect our limbic brain with our thinking brain – you have to teach yourself to watch for those subtleties.
There will be signs.
First, they show up with all the answers is one of those signs. It’s even worse when they’re not only new to the role but new to the organization. This is a sign of a limited perspective or worldview. Second, they exhibit a need to establish control rather than collaborate with others. This is a sign of insecurity, not leadership. Third, they react poorly to feedback. Maybe they’re a little defensive at first, or even evasive. They view feedback as a personal attack. Fourth, they perform only when senior leadership is watching. They’re spotlight rangers, i.e., they only perform when the spotlight is shining on them. This is a sign that they value themselves and their success over that of the team. Finally, they can’t hold a team together. When talent starts to beat feet to the door, it’s a sign that leadership and culture and not in sync.
Hazards Up Ahead
But how can you be absolutely sure that your new boss is going to put you through a living hell? In a recent Harvard Business Review article, Colin Ellis – a self-proclaimed “culture consultant” – opened with probably the surest sign that the road ahead will be bumpy: “Ha! That’s the stupidest idea I’ve heard.”
Publicly humiliating a subordinate is a serious bad boss flex move. But if they can clear that hurdle without significant pushback, then it’s game on. From there, it’s a downhill slide of dysfunction and destruction. Ellis lists ten signs of a bad boss that can serve as advance warning of what’s to come.
1. They lack self-awareness.
A bad boss sees themselves much more positively than others do. They exhibit a stunning lack of self-awareness that is often manifested in a resistance to feedback. No one is as capable and intelligent as they are, so why entertain the opinions of others?
2. They lack empathy.
Most leaders who fail the robot test have at least learned to mimic positive workplace behaviors. But they no more experience those feelings than a T-800. They simply don’t relate to human emotions.
3. They’re excessively motivated by self-interest.
This is a bad boss power move. “Toxic bosses make everything about them and seek to take credit for the work of others.” You’ll do the work, but don’t count on the credit.
4. They demonstrate inconsistent behavior.
Bad bosses often have difficulty regulating their emotions. They can swing from Mr. Hyde to Mother Teresa at the drop of a dime, and you won’t have any idea what’s coming next until the moment arrives.
5. They take advantage of power dynamics.
A bad boss is always right because, well… they’re the boss. They will lord their authority over others as the final say in any discussion. As a result, it’s usually going to be their way or the highway.
6. They micromanage.
A bad boss won’t just tell you what to do, they’ll tell you how to do it, then stand over you while you do it. Why? Because they don’t trust someone they perceive as inferior to perform a task better than they can.
7. They set unreasonable expectations.
Another element of the power dynamic is intentionally setting unreasonable expectations while providing vague and confusing guidance. A bad boss will purposely set someone up for failure, then swoop in to demonstrate their superiority.
8. They belittle and demoralize.
A classic bad boss move is to push someone to the point of breaking them. This is the result of several factors – including a lack of empathy and a desire to dominate others – and can range from micro-aggressions to outright humiliation.
9. They seek to blame others.
Since they are superior to everyone else around them, they are incapable of making mistakes. So, when a mistake is made or something goes wrong, expect a blamestorming attack.
10. They’re overconfident about their knowledge.
The Dunning-Kruger effect immediately comes to mind. Some people just believe they’re much smarter, competent, or capable than they really are.
