A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from someone I’d never met, asking for some advice as they began the transition to the military strategist career field. While I’m accustomed to the idea of sharing advice with friends and colleagues, one aspect of maintaining a public facing persona is that you generate a lot more such requests. Even after stepping away from that spotlight, it’s not uncommon to be asked for advice from a total stranger.
For someone to ask your advice communicates two things. One, they trust you enough to ask your opinion. That’s kind of a big deal. Two, they respect your expertise, or they wouldn’t be coming to you in the first place. Put those two together and you begin to understand how important it is to provide sound advice that provides an equally sound return on their investment of trust and confidence.
But even I’m not immune from injecting a little snark, so my response – while generally serious – weaved in aspects of two of my favorite columns, “Hell in a Very Small Place” and “The Longest Year of My Life,” which capture a lot of what they would soon experience as a U.S. Army strategist. The career field has its moments, but it’s far from the sunshine and rainbows many expect. I did my best to provide a valuable response, drawing on advice I’d received from others over the years.
Dailey’s Ten Tips
Some of the best advice I received in my career came from my noncommissioned officers. That advice helped guide my career, shaped by leadership philosophy, and provided the fodder for more than a few war stories over the years.
So, when then-Sergeant Major of the Army Dan Dailey offered his leadership wisdom to the U.S. Army’s senior enlisted leaders at the Sergeants Major Academy in 2015, that advice struck a familiar chord. While the advice was clearly intended for an enlisted audience, the advice transcended rank and title. Every aspect of his advice applies to anyone, in any role, wearing any rank insignia.
- Yelling doesn’t make you skinny. PT does.
- Think about what you’re going to say before you say it.
- If you find yourself having to remind everyone all of the time that you’re the sergeant major and you’re in charge, you’re probably not.
- You have to work very hard at being more informed and less emotional.
- If you can’t have fun every day, then you need to go home.
- Don’t be the feared leader. It doesn’t work.
- Don’t do anything — and I mean anything — negative over email.
- It’s OK to be nervous. All of us are.
- If your own justification for being an expert in everything you do is your 28 years of military experience, then it’s time to fill out your 4187 and end your military experience.
- Never forget that you’re just a soldier.
I’ve heard – and been told – variations on every one of those tips over the years. From “facts, not emotions” to “stay humble,” we all typically pull from very similar playbooks. We share common experiences, misery, and often advice. That’s just who we are.
A Friendly piece of Advice
As I pulled together some advice in response to that future strategist, I finished with a short list of considerations. Call them truisms. Call them road rules. Call them what you will. They represent decades of hard-earned lessons that apply to any profession, to any career field, to any workplace. They apply regardless of who you are or where you come from. And they apply irrespective of your ultimate destination.
While Dailey’s advice applies broadly, I was engaged with someone who was cutting a new path and entering unexplored territory. As I considered the circumstances, I chose to emphasize focus areas that not only offered competitive advantage but also served to help someone navigate the road ahead, where social capital was essential.
1. Read (and read a lot).
To put it bluntly, knowledge is power. Read relevant books, listen to informative podcasts, and pay attention to the news. Stay current or you’ll find yourself playing catch up.
2. Speak truth to power.
Respect authority but don’t be shy about speaking your mind. Too many people get star struck in a room full of stars. Don’t let that be you.
3. Build your emotional intelligence.
Learn to read a room. Not just verbal and non-verbal cues, but personalities, tendencies, and temperaments.
4. Read body language.
Only 7% of human messaging is conveyed verbally. Learn to read the other 93 percent.
5. Think in systems.
Very little in life is linear. Cause and effect are usually much more nonlinear in nature and, therefore, your thinking needs to adapt appropriately.
6. Define your value proposition.
What do you bring to the table? How do you differentiate yourself from others? What gives you unique value? What keeps you in the inner circle won’t be your stunning good looks or sparkling charisma. Figure it out.
7. Listen and take notes.
What people say matter (and often have long-term relevance). And you only hear what they’re saying if you’re actively listening. You can’t do that if you’re talking all the time.
8. Be value added.
When the dust settles, you want to be the person others expect you to be, and more. You don’t want your presence questioned.
9. Learn storytelling.
Great leaders are usually great storytellers. The facts, while interesting, won’t sell an idea. Learn the power of narrative storytelling that captivates. It separates those who might from those who do.
10. Grow from the experience.
Draw lessons from the senior leaders around the conference room table. Learn from them. But don’t be them, be the best you that you can be.
Before I hit “send” on the email, I reflected on each item but lingered on the last one. While I can honestly say that I am genuinely me, I can also say with confidence that I’ve grown from experiencing the wisdom of others. A little bit of them is part of me, whether in thoughts, words, or actions.
