It’s not unusual to encounter gaslighting and questioning your sanity in the workplace. This phenomenon is a manipulative tactic that can have severe psychological and emotional consequences.
Understanding The Twisted Art of Gaslighting
Think of gaslighting like a psychological magic trick gone wrong, where a master manipulator skillfully undermines your grip on reality, leaving you questioning your very existence.
The term itself was plucked from the realms of theater, originating from the play and subsequent film titled “Gaslight.” In this chilling tale, the cunning husband orchestrates a sinister plot to make his poor wife believe she’s losing her marbles.
So, how does this psychological mayhem unfold?
Well, the gaslighter manipulates your perception of reality. They may downplay your accomplishments, making you question your worthiness of praise. They selectively dole out information or withhold key details to leave you wandering in a haze of confusion. And let’s remember their favorite pastime: shifting blame by expertly diverting responsibility, making you feel like you’re the one who dropped the ball.
When it comes to gaslighting, one of the most significant adverse impacts is the psychological toll it takes on those who experience it. Victims of gaslighting will find themselves caught in a web of self-doubt, anxiety, and depression, all while living in a perpetual state of “Am I going crazy, or is the world just playing tricks on me?”
But here’s the cruel twist: gaslighting in the workplace doesn’t just stop with the individual—it infects the entire team. The toxic energy seeps into the team dynamics, leading to a parade of plummeting morale, lousy communication, and an environment so toxic it could win an award for the world’s most hazardous workplace.
Recognizing Gaslighting in the Workplace
It is crucial to recognize the comprehensive impact of gaslighting on the team and the various ways gaslighting manifests itself. To do so, here are some of the specific ways gaslighting can pop up in the workplace:
1. Distorting facts.
Gaslighters have a knack for distorting and altering the truth. They may exaggerate or downplay specific details to create a false narrative that aligns with their agenda. As a result, the targeted individual is left questioning their recollection of events.
2. Double standards.
Gaslighters often apply different standards to themselves and others. They may hold themselves exempt from the rules they impose on others, which can lead to feelings of unfairness and frustration.
3. Isolating and ostracizing.
Gaslighters employ tactics to isolate their targets from their support networks. They may spread rumors, engage in gossip, or manipulate relationships to create a sense of exclusion and isolation. This isolation makes it easier for the gaslighter to maintain control over their target.
4. Withholding praise and validation.
Gaslighters are masters at withholding praise, validation, and positive feedback. They may intentionally withhold recognition for achievements, leaving their targets feeling unappreciated and unworthy of acknowledgment.
5. Creating a culture of fear.
Gaslighters thrive on creating an atmosphere of fear and uncertainty. They may use intimidation, threats, or aggressive behavior to instill fear in others, exerting control and preventing them from speaking up or challenging their manipulative tactics.
6. Gaslighting by proxy.
Gaslighters may enlist the help of others to validate their distorted version of reality. They might convince colleagues or superiors to doubt and question the gaslighting target’s credibility, further eroding their self-confidence and amplifying the gaslighter’s influence.
7. Constant criticism.
Gaslighters employ constant criticism, nitpicking every aspect of their target’s work or personal life. This consistent barrage of negativity gradually wears down the individual’s self-esteem, leaving them vulnerable to further manipulation.
Recognizing and Overcoming Gaslighting: Steps to Empower Yourself
Gaslighting can be a relentless foe, but armed with knowledge and self-empowerment, you can confront and conquer it. Here are practical steps to help you recognize and deal with this toxicity in the workplace:
1. Trust your instincts.
Your intuition is a powerful guide. If something feels off, don’t dismiss it. Trust your gut instincts and validate your experiences. Gaslighting thrives on making you doubt yourself, but you regain control over your reality by acknowledging and honoring your instincts.
2. Educate yourself.
Knowledge is your ally. Familiarize yourself with gaslighting tactics and manipulation techniques. Understand how gaslighters twist the truth, undermine your confidence, and erode your sense of self. The more you know, the better equipped you’ll be to recognize and counteract these insidious tactics.
3. Document incidents.
Keep a detailed record of gaslighting incidents. Note dates, times, and specific details of each encounter. This documentation serves as a tangible record of the gaslighter’s behavior, providing evidence and validation of your experiences should you need it in the future.
4. Seek support.
Reach out to trusted colleagues, mentors, or a supportive manager to discuss your concerns. Sharing your experiences with empathetic listeners can provide validation and a fresh perspective. Their support can bolster your confidence and help you navigate the challenges of dealing with gaslighting.
5. Set boundaries.
Establish clear boundaries and communicate your expectations. Make it known that you will not tolerate gaslighting behavior. When confronted with gaslighting tactics, assertively address the issue firmly but respectfully. Stand your ground and refuse to internalize the false narrative imposed upon you.
6. Practice self-care.
Prioritize self-care to maintain your emotional well-being. Engage in activities that rejuvenate and strengthen you. Exercise regularly, practice mindfulness or meditation, and seek therapy or counseling. Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally will fortify your resilience in the face of gaslighting.
7. Seek organizational support.
If the gaslighting behavior persists and negatively impacts your well-being, consider seeking organizational help. Report the issue to Human Resources, providing them with the documented incidents. If available, consult an employee assistance program for guidance and assistance navigating the situation.
Gaslighting can have devastating effects on individuals and teams in the workplace. No one deserves to be manipulated or undermined, and it is essential to foster a culture of respect, trust, and open communication for the well-being and success of everyone involved.
