“No pressure, no diamonds.” – Thomas Carlyle
He stood alone, visibly shaken. A single, solitary cigarette hung from his fingertips. His hands shook noticeably, even as he tried to maintain some vestige of calm. He wasn’t a smoker. He’d borrowed a pack of cigarettes from a soldier. Now, even as he tried to maintain a sense of purpose, his breath came between violent fits of coughing.
We’d just taken our first hostile fire of the war, some relatively inaccurate mortar rounds that peppered the rocky soil just outside the hastily strewn concertina wire that formed the edge of our defensive perimeter. The brigade’s first casualty of the war, a soldier too young to buy a celebratory drink when we returned home, was in the field mortuary on the other side of our position. People were scared, confusion reigned, and expectations on the commander had never been higher.
It was just enough to push him to the edge.
I approached him and stood by his side, facing the opposite direction as I watched troops maneuver carefully to keep their distance. I wanted to give him someone to lean on, someone who could help him find the presence so desperately needed in the moment. But in the moment, my words likely sounded more like judgment than encouragement.
He took another long pull from the cigarette in his hand, threw it to the ground, and crushed it under the toe of his boot. He stuck a quivering forefinger into the pack and fished out a fresh cigarette and lit it. He looked down at his feet for a moment, then took a breath and turned his head in my direction. “Are you through?” He asked.
I was. I left him there, standing alone, a cigarette trembling in his hand.
Fight or Flight
Remaining calm under pressure isn’t exactly natural. And doing so runs counter to your brain’s evolution. In a recent Psychology Today article, Nin Ahuja notes that, “In high-stakes moments, our nervous systems do exactly what they’re designed to do: respond to perceived threat.”
When the limbic system senses that threat – and keep in mind that how we perceive threats can vary significantly between individuals – it communicates a distress signal to the hypothalamus. In turn, that triggers a cascade of events, including releasing stress hormones, dilating the pupils, increasing the heart rate, sharpening the senses, and diverting blood to the muscles to prepare for immediate action. Finally, the brain activates the hippocampus to capture the moment in a memory that can guide learning.
If that’s not enough, the prefrontal cortex is likely to become less active, meaning rational thought and measured reactions go out the window. This immediate, mercurial response – what we commonly refer to as the fight-flight-freeze response – is a fundamental survival mechanism. The brain prioritizes surviving over thinking, safety over rational thought.
Ease the Mind
In real time, a limbic response – which a reaction to a perceived threat – can appear as a lack of intentional action, indecision or decision paralysis, or irritability and self-doubt. The differences between individual perceptions can be frustrating as the fight-flight-freeze response plays out over what might seem like an inconsequential threat. Because what the brain doesn’t always do is distinguish a bee from a burglar or a spider from a speeding train.
You have to train your brain for that.
When it comes to leaders who thrive under pressure, Ahuja emphasizes that they’ve learned “to lead with clarity even when the pressure is high.” They stay grounded. “They’ve simply developed the ability to stay present, emotionally regulated, and values-aligned when it matters most.” They’ve retrained their brains in ways that allow the rational brain to control the functions of the limbic brain.
If it sounds easy, rest assured that it isn’t. But it is possible.
Ahuja recommends a simple neuroscience-informed framework: reflect, reframe, respond. In the moment, take the time to reflect, to identify your emotional response. This helps to prevent the amygdala from hijacking your capacity for reason. Then reframe your response in a way that allows you to regain clarity over chaos. Finally, anchor your response in your core values, which provide a rational compass when your emotions want to seize control.
Leading Under Pressure
Mastering your reaction to pressure – managing yourself – is one thing. When leading others, it can be exponentially more difficult to regulate your brain’s emotional response to pressure. Others are waiting for your decision. Your responses are under constant scrutiny. The consequences are often much greater. What if you make the wrong choice? Should you ask for help? How will you recover if you fail?
Leaders are often high performers who contend with equally high expectations. Those expectations can easily lead to added pressure, which only raises the stakes during periods of intense stress. Add to that the endless demands on time, attention, and presence. The end result is a powder keg of pressure that can trigger flight-flight-freeze at the most inopportune time.
How do you lead in that kind of environment?
1. Manage yourself.
It all starts with you. Self-care is the best tool for limiting stress, controlling moods, and reducing anxiety. Develop good habits that ensure your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing.
2. Know your triggers.
No one knows what you perceive as a threat better than you. Identify them. Label them. Recognize them. If you can see them coming, you are better able to control your response.
3. Keep calm.
When you feel the pressure start to build, take a beat. Breathe. Step back from the ledge. Gather yourself and your thoughts. This is where emotional regulation begins. Find your inner calm and focus on it.
4. Stay focused.
In a 2011 speech on the essence of leadership, Colin Powell remarked, “If you are scared, terrified, hungry, or cold, they will be scared, terrified, hungry, or cold.” Project calmness. Stay focused on the task at hand and be the leader your people need in the moment.
5. Be yourself.
When the pressure is on, seize the moment as your genuine self. Nothing signals true leadership ability than the captain who calmly steers the ship through the eye of the storm. Your values are your compass; let them guide you in the same consistent way they would at any other time.
Pressure is synonymous with leadership. Someone trusted to lead is expected to demonstrate poise under duress, to make tough decisions with imperfect information, to push an organization toward often lofty goals. None of that is easy. It’s a tough slog from beginning to end. It’s also – as I often remind others – “why they pay us the big bucks.”
