Last week I wrote about the surprising dangers of being too reliable at work. How can being reliable be a bad thing, you ask? We love reliable people, whether it is at work or in our personal relationships.
Is the answer to become less reliable? Of course not! That will never be an effective career strategy. That doesn’t mean that you should continue to be dumped or that you should feel inferior.
Addressing it can be tricky and it takes courage.
If this is out of your normal range of behaviors, the first act is to get comfortable with the idea of experiencing some discomfort.
What’s that mean? It means that our routines make us feel safe and in control. When we stray from that routine, it’s scary. We no longer feel in control but experiencing this level of discomfort is the only way you grow. It doesn’t feel great while it’s happening but you’re better off in the long run.
Addressing this with your manager may spike your stress levels temporarily but it helps you stretch your comfort zone with newly established boundaries.
Here’s how to show your value to your manager:
1. Work with Your Manager to Confirm Goals, Deadlines, and Priorities.
If your duties keep piling up and you are trying to juggle too many tasks, it’s time to have a discussion with your boss. Never assume your manager knows what you are currently working on. If the work is getting done, they’re happy. Many managers do not know the extent of their employees’ workloads. This may be one of the most valuable conversations you will have with your boss. Your goal is to work with them to set priorities and to establish due dates. It may be an eyeopener for your boss when they see a list of your current projects and your schedule of activities.
An important tip: Think about the words you will use during your discussions. Avoid being seen as a complainer or as a displeased employee. Be careful about casting blame onto your coworkers or painting a picture of them as slackers. The point of this discussion is about you and your workload. Positive and fruitful discussions are the way to go. Spend time thinking about how you will frame the discussion beforehand. Be prepared to offer input and devote the meeting to being solution-focused.
For example, reorganizing workloads may not be the only answer. This could be a good opportunity to mentor a junior staff member and train them on some of your duties. Not only does this help you, but it provides a growth opportunity for another teammate.
2. Set Expectations and Boundaries (And, Stick to Them!).
We all have tasks that we would rather not do but saying “I won’t do it” or “I can’t do it” isn’t the best career roadmap. Say “yes” but on your own terms. Your compromise could be, “Yes, but not now.”
For example, say: “I can see how that needs to get done quickly. However, I am currently responsible for [this] by [this date] which means I am not the best person to get this done within your time allowance.”
Always suggest alternatives when you can so it doesn’t look like you’re simply ignoring the problem. Of course, if your boss is making the request, it’s time to discuss a reorganization of priorities because they may not understand your “Yes, but not now” approach without discussions.
3. Don’t Clutter Discussions with Raw Emotions.
You may be at the tipping point and inches away from charging into your manager’s office. If you’re angry or overwhelmed, your emotions will impact your professionalism and you won’t be able to present your best case.
Having a successful conversation is what alleviates being taken advantage of in the future. Disagreements can be friendly, but still frank and effective.
One sure way to clutter your discussion is by throwing out unnecessary information steeped in emotions. Now is not the time to talk about everything that has bothered you in the past three years. Focus on what is happening in the moment and get to the point swiftly and stay on point. Your message will be more powerful. Don’t throw out excuses. Be firm and factual.
Yes, I know. It’s always easier to read this than it is to act. Learning how to assert yourself comes through growth. Remember, while there are people who purposely take advantage of you (most likely because they have been allowed to get away it), there are other people who do not realize what they are doing. Setting expectations and establishing professional boundaries are powerful business skills, but it does take time to develop this art. Balancing your needs for a healthy work environment without coming across as a disgruntled employee is the key to rebalancing an unequal work relationship.
Voicing opinions, oppositions, and providing solutions in a confident and objective manner are key elements of valuable employees.
A Final Word to Managers
It will take courage for your employees to speak up if they find themselves in this situation. You need to help them. Take a minute to think about your organization and your culture.
Have you made it safe for them to speak up and voice the truth?
If not, you are missing an opportunity to develop substantial and trusted relationships. Don’t minimize this opportunity because your long-term success will be at risk.
