It is not a stretch to say that we can spend more time with our co-workers than anyone else during the work week – including our family. For this reason, work relationships can impact day-to-day happiness. It feels good when you like your co-workers. It feels even better if they reciprocate.
While we cannot force our co-workers to like us, we can increase our likeability factor. We are more likely to feel warmly toward a person who makes us feel good about ourselves – and that creates a shift in how they react and respond to you.
And, I’ll take it a step further than that: Not only will increasing your likeability improve your overall co-worker relationships, but it makes it easier to be successful. When people like you, they work with you and not against you. Being well-liked by others isn’t a smoke and mirrors game. It is a skill that anyone can easily pick up.
Key Traits That Likeable People Cultivate
1. You Do What You Say: Your workload impacts someone else’s workload. If you are reliable, your likeability influence goes up because you are making your co-workers’ lives easier and less stressful. Professionals who are dependable will win the trust of the boss, co-workers, clients, and customers. When you add consistency to your work behavior, you become trustworthy and people know what they can expect from you. If they can count on you, it gives them a sense of relief.
2. You Take an Interest in Your Co-Workers’ Lives: No, not in the creepy kind of way that borders on nosiness and intrusiveness. Instead of making idle chit-chat, make it count. Make it real. Don’t say, “Good morning.” Instead say, “Good morning, Erin. How did Sarah’s recital go last night?”
Likeable people make it a habit to be curious about others. Ask appropriate questions and make it a point to remember what they have talked about. They will be impressed when you bring it up later.
3. You Put Others at Ease: Not everyone feels confident 100% of the time. If you sense that someone feels uneasy or inadequate, you can help them feel capable, smart, and accepted. Being a likeable person requires good manners and having the ability to put other people at ease. Although some people seem to have been born with this flair, it can be learned. Once you enhance this trait, you’ll be amazed at how you make people feel.
4. You Let Someone Else Tell Their Story: Conversation is an exchange of stories. Each one waits until the other is done and then they begin telling their story. People who allow others to speak without taking their own turn are generally regarded as the better conversationalists. They are the best at building quick rapport. The difficulty most people have is stopping themselves from jumping in and interjecting their own thoughts, ideas, and stories during a conversation instead of listening. Be there to hear their story and not to tell yours.
5. You Don’t Make the Conversation All About You: This is the follow-up to letting someone tell their story. When someone starts to tell their story, it’s easy to want to jump in. If someone mentions they just got back from Paris, don’t immediately jump in to tell the story about the time you went to Paris. When you do this, you begin dominating the conversation instead of keeping your mouth shut and listening.
6. You Are Humble: If you’ve had help along the way, take the time to publicly recognize those who have helped you. A little humility goes a long way. If you have a sense of modesty about your success, your co-workers are less likely to have resentment. It’s okay to toot your own horn because sometimes you need to be your best spokesperson. Take care not to monopolize the spotlight. Give credit where credit is due.
7. You Remember Names: Some things are too simple. There is no easier way to build likeability than by remembering names and using names in conversations. This small yet powerful gesture makes people feel respected. Here’s the bottom line – people like to hear their name. Use it.
Despite these actions, there will be people who won’t warm up to you. You won’t always win over all co-workers but when your likeability factor increases with the people who matter, you will see a boost in your success. Likeability enhances team work. So, smile, say hello, and acknowledge your co-workers by name. A few small genuine acts will make your co-workers feel special.
