As a veteran, there are times when the ‘real world’ can impact me more than it impacts those around me. The lack of respect from a store worker, a business that refuses to take responsibility for their mistake or other simple events seem to bring me much more frustration than others, and up until now, I didn’t really understand why. Values are not held with the same respect as those who didn’t serve in the military. And that is not their fault.
The transition from military to civilian life is one of the most significant and challenging changes a veteran can face, especially if you don’t take the time to understand why things are so different. It is a shift from a structured, mission-oriented environment to a world where personal and professional expectations may not always be clear. There is generally no ‘objective’ to accomplish and that can make you feel lost.
Lost without a map and a compass
Many veterans experience stress, anxiety, and even frustration as they navigate this new reality, often feeling misunderstood by family, friends, and colleagues who haven’t shared similar experiences. The key to managing this transition is acknowledging that it is stressful. We joke that the first step towards a solution is admitting that there is a problem, and it is true. This is not a sign of weakness—it is a reality.
Below are key self-care techniques that can help veterans manage stress and build resilience as they adjust to civilian life.
1. Establish a Routine
I know that it sounds harsh, but in prison, they tell inmates that a routine can help the time pass by. It shouldn’t be shocking that in the military, a routine is the cornerstone of daily life. Creating a structured schedule in civilian life can provide a sense of stability and purpose. Whether it’s setting a regular wake-up time, scheduling workouts, or planning daily tasks, maintaining structure can ease feelings of uncertainty.
2. Prioritize Physical Health
Exercise is not only beneficial for physical health but also plays a crucial role in mental well-being. Activities like running, weightlifting, yoga, or even outdoor adventures can reduce stress and improve mood. Proper nutrition and adequate sleep are also essential in maintaining both physical and emotional balance. Maintaining a level of physical strength will also help your mental health. If you let your physical capabilities slip, you may start to notice your mental health declining due to imposter syndrome or other frustrations with how you look in the mirror.
3. Seek Community and Support Networks
One of the hardest aspects of transitioning is feeling disconnected from the camaraderie of military life. Finding a new community—whether through veteran support groups, recreational activities, or professional networks—can provide a sense of belonging and shared understanding. Organizations such as the VA, VFW, and Team RWB offer resources and opportunities to connect with fellow veterans. Find ways of volunteering, joining local clubs or groups, and finding ways to use your extensive knowledge and military experience to be value added to your communities.
4. Practice Mindfulness and Stress-Relief Techniques
Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, and mindfulness can help veterans manage stress and stay grounded in the present moment. Journaling can also be a powerful tool for processing emotions and tracking personal growth. There are plenty of groups to join that host virtual and in-person retreats, groups, or classes that help with stress-mitigating techniques. Many offer free training and plenty of fellowships. Considering what extended amounts of stress and active fight-or-flight reactions can do to your body, I highly recommend making anti-stress techniques a weekly, if not daily, addition to your lifestyle.
5. Engage in Purpose-Driven Activities
Many veterans find fulfillment in service-oriented activities, volunteering, or mentoring others. Seeking a career that aligns with personal values or engaging in meaningful hobbies can provide a sense of direction and accomplishment. Finding ways of giving back to your community will not only bring purpose to a veteran’s life, but it will create a sense of fulfillment and belonging. When we leave the service, veterans lose their mission, and that can create a vacuum where a mission was. That vacuum can be filled with a new purpose.
6. Educate Family and Friends About the Transition
Let’s get real about something first; we, as veterans, are terrible at explaining what is bothering us. We survived war, stressful training, field exercises, injuries, and more while fearing the impact of mental health stigma. We need to change the narrative. We need to talk about what is bothering us and we also need to celebrate the wins. Most family members and significant others do not understand what we do or why we do it, and I mean career and internal mental health and that is not fair to them. It’s common for loved ones to struggle to understand the challenges veterans face. Open conversations about stress triggers, adjustments, and needs can help bridge this gap. Sharing experiences or even inviting family members to attend veteran support events can foster empathy and understanding.
7. Utilize Professional Mental Health Resources
There is no shame in seeking professional support. Whether it’s counseling, therapy, or support groups, talking to a professional can provide valuable coping strategies. Many organizations, including the VA and nonprofits, offer mental health services tailored to veterans’ needs. If you are finding it difficult to locate immediate or long-term care, first check with the VA, and then if they don’t have resources, you can look at local hospitals. Most hospitals have programs that they use to support the community that are potentially free. They are used to help train new interns and hospital staff so be patient with them while they try and support you. Also, reach out to your local military installation because they will probably have program contacts that support veterans or those transitioning to civilian life.
8. Give Yourself Grace and Patience
One of the most important pieces of advice and self-care techniques is learning how to be patient with yourself. What you are going through is not something that your average person has experienced, and it is probably the first time you are experiencing it. So, give yourself a break. It is not easy, and you can speak to any other veteran who has experienced transitioning out of military service, and they will tell you the same thing. Adjusting to civilian life takes time; that is why it is called a process and not just simply a step to take or a task to accomplish. It could take days, weeks, months, or years, and that is okay. Some days will feel easier than others, and setbacks are a natural part of the process. It’s important to practice self-compassion and remember that transitioning is a journey, not a race.
Just my two cents
As veterans, we have already demonstrated resilience, adaptability, and strength in our military careers. These same qualities can help us navigate the challenges of civilian life. Acknowledging the stress of transition is the first step toward effective self-care, and by implementing these techniques, veterans can find balance, purpose, and a renewed sense of well-being in their new reality.
I, honestly, wish that there was a little more communication about the stressors that we would face outside of the military. I wish that they would tell you that it’s not a short process, it’s not an easy process, and it is not something that you can do alone. Reach out to your friends, your family, and your network, and don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. This is not the time to skimp on taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally, or physically. The transition process is not easy, but we didn’t choose the easy road. We chose the road of selfless service, of sacrifice, and of dedication. You can do this.
For those struggling, remember: you are not alone. Support is available, and there are communities ready to help you succeed in this next chapter.
